Q. British General addressing Australian troops: Did you come here to die?
A. No mate, we came here yester-die.

I was sitting in a bar one time and I saw a Jewish man walk in and sit down to have a drink. After a few drinks a Chinese man came in and sat next to him. The Jewish man immediately turned and punched the other man in the face.

The Chinese man shouted, "You fool! What was that for?" The Jewish man replied, "That's for Pearl Harbor." Chinese man said, "You idiot, I am Chinese not Japanese!" Jewish man replied, "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"

The Chinese man proceeded to punch the Jewish man in the face.

The Jewish man clutched his jaw and said angrily, "Owww, why did you do that?!" The Chinese man replied, "That's for the Titanic." Jewish man said, "But an iceberg caused it to sink, not me!"

The Chinese man smiled and said, "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference!"