Wednesday, April 1, 2009

JOKE: Three Hymns

One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He added that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed and collected, the pastor saw that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation. "Someone has blessed us with a $1,000 donation!" he announced. "Please let me know who you are. I want to personally thank you."

A woman in the back of the church who looked to be in her late 40's raised her hand.

"Please come up front," the pastor said. The woman made her way up front.

"Thank you for your wonderfully generous gift to the church," the pastor said. "Please, I would like you to pick out three hymns."

The woman's eyes brightened. She looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the church and said, "I'll take him and him and him!"


Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My
son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the
bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business
Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now
he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and
joy. He started working for a big airline, he then went to flight school to
become a pilot.Eventually he became a partner in the company, where
he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his
best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very
nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square
foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth
returned from the rest-room and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes
of our sons....What about your son?" The fourth man replied:
"My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a
nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And
he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed the other day and he received
a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of
the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."